i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
