I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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