You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
