Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Randomize
