I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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