There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
