just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
