She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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