arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
