You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
