I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
