I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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