saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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