Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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