Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
