I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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