he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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