You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
