Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
