I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
