i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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