i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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