I am puke
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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