I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
