also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
