Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
