That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
