I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
