sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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