cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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