So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
