i permit you to call me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Bring me that man meat
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
