my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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