sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
