honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
