i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
