I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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