I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
