I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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