if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
