doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
