I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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