Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
