Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
