I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think a kid would responsible me up
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
