i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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