For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
