I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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