woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
