forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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