Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
