my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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