Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
