Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
