hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
